I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
