apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize