You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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