called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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