What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You made out with two different species that night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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