Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
