CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
