I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Even my vagina gasped.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
