Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
