Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize