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I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
