hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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