I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My dick has a subreddit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
