I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
