you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
