how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
