Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
where are my eyebrows?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
