youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
