You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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