I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
