i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
