some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
