whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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