i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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