It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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