If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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