Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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