i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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