i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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