everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
