If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
