i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
