how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
