I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize