Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
