I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize