return my video game
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
