i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
