Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
