A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
