I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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