...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
