Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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