your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
