Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
