My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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