yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
