Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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