You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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