Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
