Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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