Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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