The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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