So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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