So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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