Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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