I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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