My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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