she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
