I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
