I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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