I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
