just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
