Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
